Say Something Nice

One of the things I've gotten better and better about, especially given my (almost permanent) relocation to New York and the increased responsibility that's come with it, is deciding how best to spend my time and take care of myself. I chose to do a good job managing instead of half-assing managing and coding. I've stopped eating lots of fatty and cholesterol-laden foods and started consuming much more salads and chicken. I've started doing less to put myself in the spotlight and more to create opportunities for others. I've stopped dating and started waiting. I've started running, up to four times a week, down the West Side Highway from Chelsea down to Tribeca with Lady Liberty lighting my way. (Battery Park, you will be mine! Oh yes, you will be mine!) Generally speaking, I'm feeling much better physically, mentally, and spiritually than I was even in, say, February—no, make that mid-May. My life feels more like it's mine with each of these little commitments.

This process has been the opposite of natural. A commitment to myself feels like a potential betrayal to others. Every time I've had the somewhat powerful urge to throw everything away and run back to a simpler life, I've managed to stop myself at the very edge and ask the question: "What would I do if I were the person I wish I could be, instead of who I am?" It may take me a while to follow through, but I've rarely failed to commit to the action I clearly realize is the right one to take. However, the question keeps coming up, more and more frequently somehow, and answering it—well, to be more precise, accepting and committing to the right answer—doesn't always get easier.

The absinthe experience was not a good one, and not one worth recounting, on many levels. The right thing is to nevermind the absinthe, so let's do that.

This week has been busy and productive, and next week promises to be doubly so. Plus, I was rather delighted this past week to be reminded that my friends didn't all have the bends. Such thoughts carry me through sad, exhausted, frustrated, lonely, jealous moments. And the right thing to do is to end the post on that note.